That phrase elicits images of pampered housewives spending the day at the spa, drinking mimosas and gossiping about the goings on at the country club, amiright? You know I'm right.
The notion of self-care is oftentimes dismissed as selfish, frivolous, something silly in which only the hoity toity get to indulge. And while the hoity and the toity do seem to get more time to engage in self-care activities, that does not in any way mean it is only for them. Nor does it mean one has to drop a hefty penny at a snooty spa in order to recharge their inner batteries.
As women, we tend to go go go, to burn the candle at both ends, to bite off more than we can chew and continue gnawing on that bite whilst working full time, running the kids to soccer practice or track meets or appointments, then coming home to cook, clean, and help with homework (unless you're like me and have geniuses for children and their math homework looks less like logical equations and more like Egyptian hieroglyphs... but I digress). By the time we get everyone to bed, we're drained. And yes, I acknowledge that this is 2019 and men are more evolved than their 1950s brethren, and are therefore also involved in family life too; I'm not denigrating that at all.
But...
I'm a woman, and this post is geared toward my ladies. Sorry, guys.
As women, we are expected to do it all perfectly, and with a smile on our faces no less. And quite honestly, it's exhausting. I don't know a single mother who hasn't had the urge to run away to a tropical island and never return. And that's not because we don't love our families. We're just so. damn. tired. And you can't pour from an empty cup.
Self-care can be anything from a solitary bubble bath WHERE NO ONE BOTHERS YOU FOR ONE GODDAMN HOUR, to a weekly mani/pedi sesh with your best gal pals WHERE NO ONE BOTHERS YOU FOR ONE GODDAMN HOUR, to regular therapy appointments, a solo hike, sleeping in on the weekends, arts and crafts, yoga, or whatever the heck makes you feel a little more refreshed and ready to tackle little Bobby's science project he forgot to tell you about and is due tomorrow.
Self-care is necessary. It's "me time" for your mind, body, and soul. It's a little slice of personalized heaven. You know how when a piece of technology isn't working, and the first solution is always "have you turned it off and turned it back on again?" Yeah, the human equivalent of that is self-care.
It is not selfish. It is not frivolous. It does not make you a bad mom. It makes you a human who needs a little piece and quiet, and a chance to get back to center. We all need to shut off and reboot once in awhile.
Things have been crazy for me lately. Full time job. Full time mommy. Full time fiancé. Rebooting my freelancing career. And now full time school again. That's a lot of full times and, last I checked, still only 24 hours in a day. I've been stressed, tired, overwhelmed, and quite frankly, just a lil sick of everyone's shit. Yes, even you. Don't give me that look. You know what you did.
So today, I focused on taking it easy. I cancelled today's plans and just spent the day at home with the kids. I had a good cry listening to a podcast the bestie sent me (so.many.feels). I snuggled with my Little Man, and cracked jokes with Daughter and Eldest. I communed with warm and fuzzy souls whom I love and adore. I had a gigantic cup of herbal tea. I took a long bubble bath, slathered myself in aromatherapy lotion, and snuggled into bed with the fuzziest of fuzzy blankets. And I purged my thoughts into this blog post, so as to clear up the writer's block I was having on my freelance project.
And honestly, I'm drained. But in a delicious way. A way that tells me I took care of myself today. I put my truest needs first, and refilled my emotional, mental, and spiritual cup.
Granted, that doesn't make me feel more ready to face Monday, but I'm definitely ready to face my full times. Hell, I might even smile.
