As the saying goes, opinions are like assholes... everybody has one.
These days, it seems like everyone has ALL OF THEM. All the opinions. All the time. Shoved in your face. Incessantly.
I'm coming out of the gate a little hot, so let me back up.
It's no secret that in this day and age, we are constantly bombarded with 1,000,000,000 opinions at once, all of which are viewed by the opinion holder as sanctified by Holy water or something. You are entitled to what they think or feel on any given subject, but they tend to seem less enthused to hear your side. Everyone is talking AT each other, not so much talking TO or WITH each other. Everyone wants to be heard, but no one wants to listen.
And, frankly, it's exhausting.
And it's made me pull back.
People in my life have noticed that I've been more withdrawn lately, more private, less communicative. This has been purposeful. And not because I'm miserable, grumpy, or bitter.
On the contrary, I am the happiest I have ever been. My life is unfolding in ways that I never imagined. I have found a love story I never thought possible. I am pursuing personal growth daily and doing the hard work to be a better version of my badass self. I am hustling like a boss, making my dreams come true and finding new, exciting paths to personal and creative fulfillment.
And quite frankly?
I don't want y'all Negative Nancys crapping all over it!
I post funny memes on social. I share cute anecdotes or snippets from my daily life. I give brief updates on certain events, if asked directly. And because of this, people assume they know all of the things about me.
But I'm an iceberg, baby!
You see the 10% I'm willing to share with you, while guarding the other 90% close to my heart. Because that 90%? It's precious. That's where the magic is.
I have recently had some wonderful things fall into place; an opportunity that has brought about some major winds of change. Change that is exciting and terrifying and nerve-wracking and incredible all at the same time. Change that involves a major investment in myself and my dreams. Change that will bring some wonderful things into my world.
Change that, I also discovered, brought out a new round of the Opinion Police.
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| Boom. Truth bomb just dropped. |
Because these life things that are happening? They're not for everyone. And I get that. Taking risks, taking chances, going out on a limb, it's all terrifying. And many people aren't willing to step outside their comfort zone like that. Heck, many people don't even have dreams that require stepping out of said comfort zone in the first place, making these individuals even more baffled by my decision to do so.
And that's fine.
But keep it to yourself, pleaseandthankyou.
You don't have to fully understand something to be supportive. It doesn't have to directly resonate with you. It doesn't have to be your dream or align with your values in order for you to champion it for others. You can even think it's completely ridiculous and insane and be fully expecting it to crash and burn. That's fine. But please be aware, your opinion is not fact, it is not truth, it is not the cipher through which others must decode their lives.
It is with utmost awareness of being cliche that I say this: you. get. one. life.
Are you living it? Fully living it? Or are you simply existing? Are you being true to your authentic self, or are you pigeonholed by what others think, expect, or want of you? The most powerful question I recently heard was this: Are you happy, or are you distracted?
I have spent the vast majority of my life simply existing. I am inherently a people-pleaser; I never wanted to rock the boat. Making waves was a risk I wasn't willing to take because god forbid I make anyone else uncomfortable or give them a reason to tsk tsk me! I dove into things that were pre-screened for approval, things that others had given their tacit permission to enjoy. I was living confined. I was, in short, distracted. But I was not happy.
Then, after many years of living a limited life, I finally got tired of asking permission. Permission to have interests and aspirations that weren't aligned with the opinion-holders around me. Permission to have dreams. Permission to step outside of society's pre-determined box. In short, I stopped giving a crap what others thought.
Because I realized something invaluable: I will never make everyone happy. I am not tacos.
No matter what I do, someone will have an opinion against it. If I go left, someone will think I should have gone right. If I go right, others will think I should have gone left. If I stop and do the hokey pokey, well, people will think I've cracked and tell me to stop being weird. It is impossible to please all of the people all of the time.
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| Go for your dreams, but also don't be a dick. |
So guess what I decided to do?
Stop trying!
I am no longer interested in making others comfortable, contented, or understanding of my path. It is my path, after all. I am going to follow my heart. I am going to live my truth. I am going to take the risks necessary to live an extraordinary life. To live with intention, purpose, and passion. To be bold and vibrant. To be unapologetically myself. I am going to take the risk and do the thing that is scary, because that is where fulfillment lies. It's still not always easy for me, the people-pleaser, to do my own thing at the expense of others' judgment. But the more I let my freak flag fly, the more natural it becomes.
And if your response is disapproval, disdain, or a barbed pseudo-supportive comment... feel free to take that ish elsewhere. Because guess what? 1) I'm not doing this for you, and 2) you don't have to get it. And both of those things are okay.
And to anyone reading this who has that dream? That idea? That thing that is burning a hole in your soul because you so badly want to take the plunge?
GO. FOR. IT.
You only get one life. Don't waste it living for others. Take that 90%, that fire, that passion, and invest in yourself.
Make your magic.
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| Don't take 'no' for an answer. Also, caffeine is your friend. |
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