But I'm back!!! So let's dive in, shall we?
In case you somehow missed the memo, one week ago we entered into a new month, new year, and new decade simultaneously. Parties were had to commemorate. Massive resolutions were made. Declarations were screeched from all corners of social media of this being the best year and the best decade and best everything ever.
I.... rang in the New Year snuggled up on my couch with my hubby, watching documentaries and drinking seltzer water. I know, pretty wild, eh? I'd been sick since Christmas, and had zero interest in leaving the house.
(Hell, we're seven days into the New Year and I STILL have zero interest in leaving the house! The holidays were far too people-y for me, and my introvert brain is still recovering. But I digress...)
This year, I avoided making any sort of New Year's resolution announcement. In fact, I pretty much avoided making any sort of official New Year's resolution at all. Not because I'm all hipster and against it, but rather because I don't see why we have to wait until a new year to decide to make changes or improvements.
As previously mentioned, I have been on a personal growth journey for awhile now, and 2020 isn't going to be any different. Successful personal growth takes time. It is a lot of hard work, baby steps, consistent progress toward your ultimate goal. Some days you leap forward in your progress; other days you might slide backwards slightly. It is never something that is simple, linear, or complacent. And, quite frankly, it's not something that can really be summed up in a simple resolution.
At least, not for me.
I entered 2019 a little worse for wear. I had dealt with some absolutely craptastic garbage in the final quarter of 2018, and quite honestly, I'd had enough. I had already been pursuing personal growth in the year or two prior to this (a pursuit which, ironically, led to some of the crappy nonsense I experienced), and it became clear I needed to really double down on the process. I needed to cut out all the toxicity in my life, both in terms of people and mindsets. I needed to address some hurts, traumas, and baggage I was still carrying, and set it all down once and for all. And I needed to figure out what exactly I wanted for my life, and then commit to getting myself there.
For the most part, 2019 was a success in that manner. It was a hard year, for sure. A lot of life challenges popped up. A lot of stress. A lot of external situations that forced me to really examine where I was on my journey and make course corrections as needed.
But 2019 was also an amazing year. It was a year of finally having the cojones to pursue my dreams. It was a year of getting to know my true, authentic self in a way I hadn't in ages, if ever. It was a year of ending patterns that were no longer serving me, of facing and healing deep wounds, and finally reaching a place of self-assurance I had never experienced. It was a year of adventure, laughter, true love, and genuine happiness. It was the year I stopped being distracted and finally started living.
It wasn't easy. It wasn't perfect. But it was pretty damn incredible.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I will be taking into 2020. That same determination, that drive to continue improving, continue growing, continue being a better version of myself. No new resolution to lose 20 pounds or climb Mt. Everest or swim with manatees (although manatees are truly the best and I would absolutely swim with them!).
Instead, I resolve to maintain this journey. Because it's hard, but damn if it isn't well worth all the work. Because the life I'm living now? Nothing, I repeat, nothing like the life I was living a couple of years ago. And I could not be more thankful for that.
And, okay, if you really need me to make an "official" resolution... I guess I'll get a new tattoo. Twist my arm. You're welcome.
❤❤❤
ReplyDeleteThanks, love!
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